End of the year musings Sunday, Dec 14 2008 

Its been quite a bad 2-3 months at work since I last posted.  Well its not that I’m not enjoying it, I think I’m enjoying my work mostly more than earlier this year.  Just some rather terrible experiences with working with people at work that made it particularly bad.

If you aren’t quite bothered about your work, at least get it done so that your co-workers don’t have to stay back to pick up the slack while you go off on the dot at 6.  Enough crap about I can work late if “the need be”.  If you need to be told in those few words that “the need be”, then sorry, you can’t work late.  Nobody is going to tell you that the need be.  If the meeting deadline was monday and its already friday and the report is two reports are not ready, I would jolly well think “the need be”.  My goodness.

So your colleagues stay back till almost 10 pm plugging along, doing the report that has your name as the lead writer.  Struggle to find a time I’ve been more cheesed off.

Oh well.

The end of the year is approaching, Christmas season is upon us soon.  Looking forward to that holiday after Christmas.

The new year will probably pass as fast as this one has, and then it will be back to school again.  I truly wonder whether this career is the best for me, but the downturn is a rather bad time to go out anyway.  At the end of the day, teaching is something that I do enjoy, just wonder how much of it I will get to do going forward, thats all.  So I’m still on that wait and see approach, wondering if taking a MAF@SMU is worth the $$ too…

We’ll just have to see.

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Post long overdue Saturday, Mar 15 2008 

So I haven’t posted since early November, making it more than 4 months since.  The end of the year break was a blast, Hong Kong and Bangkok were fun. 

In mid January I had a minor op on my knee, to clean up a torn meniscus.  Up to now its still bothering me because my leg is very stiff from the muscular atrophy.

Oh well.  Since Jan I’ve also been out of teaching in a totally new environment and I can’t say I’m totally enjoying it.  I still think its a good break from teaching, and the work is refreshingly new, but I guess I’m not used to sitting down the whole day and staring at a computer screen for hours on end.

It reminds me of the end of year data crunching I used to do for school, but now its every day.  And don’t get me started on the boss.  More than once I’ve thought about buying out my bond and going to the private sector.  Lucky (for him) the financial sector is cooling off this year, heh, if before the subprime crisis and credit crunch I think I might have gone already. 

Oh well, I gave myself until June to like the job more, or dislike it even further, so I will leave it till then.

Whats this? A post? It hasn’t been a month yet? Thursday, Oct 25 2007 

Well, today I thought I should pen some thoughts down from all over.  Work has been rough these couple of days in a way that is not common in the sense that we’re doing process and programme reviews and so we have to express our opinions, and consequently there are agreements but actually most of the time lack of them.

Now perhaps I know why I’m so tired.  Over the past 3 days, I have had to express my opinions in a way that is very tiring, especially when the listeners don’t get your point.  Is my English really that bad?  Ridiculous.  I try to discuss on their terms, if only they could see the point.  Even if I put my primary concerns aside they can’t convince me how what they are doing could be good for the students.

Mollycoddling is bad.  It is not empowerment when you allow them to make decisions that will lead to oblivion, its called being irresponsible.  You’re abdicating your responsibility to ensure that these students achieve the best possible outcomes.  Empowerment is making them realise that they need to do something if they want it.  If they want a particular subject combination that they were not given they need to earn it, that is empowerment.

Suddenly my eyes are opened to the ineptitude around me.  How such people get where they get is rather surprising, and its very frustrating to work with.  At the end of the day, if you want somebody of my capacity working for you, I suppose you will have to value my opinions and not just the volume of work I can clear for you.  Find somebody else if thats what you need.

Lately I’ve been reading Wild at Heart, and I found that it really speaks to me.  Hopefully I can make the right changes in my life soon, and move on from the wound within that the book refers to.  By God’s Grace I shall.

Well… I kind of rest my case Monday, Oct 15 2007 

Read the first line of the previous post.  Again.  Seems like I only post once a month, and this one would be a week overdue.

I just got back from a dive trip in Pulau Dayang.  I must say this time diving was much more rewarding than the first time last year.  If anybody intends to do Open Water Diver Course, please go with Orpheus Dives http://www.orpheusdives.com

My friends had more fun doing their OW with them than I did with the other dive centre.  I spent most of my dives in the house reef (yawn), whereas this one took them around the various dive sites, same ones as where I did my Advanced dives, or nearby anyways.

So this time I managed to see 2 turtles, a moray eel, a cuttlefish, a sole getting eaten by the cuttlefish among other things.  I should do this more often.

Travelling there was a major pain, especially the trip out.  The bus driver was insane.  I felt like clothes in a tumbledryer.  Its been a while since I felt that kind of jialat on a bus.

Anyways, my posting has more or less been confirmed as after June 2008.  I don’t know if I’ll like it, but I  think I welcome a break from teaching.  Its a bundle of very mixed feelings and situations I feel.  I don’t know how much of the unsettledness I am feeling comes from the fact that I know a posting is sort of compulsory, and everybody knows that, and everybody sort of factors that into their long term plans (or obvious lack thereof for me) so therefore all I get saddled with is large volume of work as a justification for my “status”.  So some people say I’m unhappy and think I would be happy to leave.  But its all interrelated isn’t it?

Its a welcome break, I’ll give you that.

Another year is about to come and go.  I know this sounds a little bit premature, but to me the end of the school term is akin to the end of the year.  Who gives about the festive season haha… Rather eventful in some ways, and decidedly uneventful in other aspects. Cryptic eh?

After an unintended hiatus Tuesday, Aug 7 2007 

Its been a long hiatus, an unintended one, as I tend to lapse into on a frequent basis.

Well the school year is about to hit its most pressurised stage, with all the exams coming up soon.  I pray that the Holy Spirit may touch and guide all those who are in need of guidance and that hard work and effort may bear fruit.

Life’s gone and found itself seemingly stuck in a rut again.  Started reading purpose driven life, hopefully I can find my full purpose in life.  For this unease must have its meaning and I intend to try and find out what it is.

Been rather unhappy about how the Rovers “dealt” with (or didn’t) our calls for reorganisation, considering whether I want to just let things go totally, perhaps I should.  Shall not complain too much as much of what they did was good natured, albeit unintentionally irritating and pointless.

Perhaps I shall recommit to a commissioner’s position, or some greater role in which there is a clearer sphere of influence.

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